Perils in Cyber Love: Episode 1

I conceived of Perils in Cyber Love in between online relationships. Okay, not really.

But online dating is becoming more and more acceptable and common in society. It’s just plain hard to meet people these days, let alone someone you actually like. Dating online gives you distance, comfort, security and the ability to find someone that you like for the way they flirt with you over IM. That you like for the way they slip in a here or a <3 there, or a when it matters most.

I shot Perils in Cyber Love in 2005 with a bottle of tequila and a scene by scene outline. What transpired was nothing short of brilliant.

Start with episode 1.

Chris Berman Goes Crazy

Everybody’s favorite ESPN personality, Chris Berman is pissed. He was pissed 7 years ago, and he’s pissed today. I’ll show you why in a second. Or I guess you could just scroll down.

It seems someone at ESPN, I’m guessing a disgruntled former employee, has leaked this video (circa 2000). And Mr. Berman is a bit peaved…

 

 

 

IN A RELATED STORY Chris Berman eats his own boogers.

 

The Tom Cruise Video Scientologists Prooooooobably Don’t Want You To See

Maybe you heard already, but there’s a video circulating that features Tom Cruise talking about Scientology, yelling about it, waxing about it, gesticulating about it, etc. At one point, he says:

“When you’re a Scientologist, and you drive by an accident, you know you have to do something about it, because you know you’re the only one who can really help… We are the way to happiness. We can bring peace and unite cultures.”

Watch it HERE

Mo Kin, Mo’ Xylophone

This little girl does it all. She sings, she dances, she plays the xylophone like a motherfucking riot.

She’s the closest thing my pair of weary eyes have seen to a xylophone-playin’ child prodigy…

She’s Mo Kin, the multi-talented 3 year old North Korean girl who has captured the hearts of people all over the world.

Just think: if little Asian girls are this good at playing the xylophone, just imagine how good they are in the child labor camps!

[revver 7666]

If you want the best in Online Asian Entertainment, I suppose Rob Pongi has got it.

When You Search For Paris Hilton, I Get Hits

I’ve recently discovered that posting about Paris Hilton gets me hits. Armed with this knowledge, what do you expect me to do? Not post about the uber-searchable Ms. Hilton?

That would be, not only stupid, but hopelessly near-sighted. The only thing to do in such a situation is to post about Ms. Hilton and all her misadventures. After all, no one else on the internet seems to have noticed this phenomenon. The last statement was of course, not only sarcastic, but inaccurate. When you google Paris Hilton, it returns not one, not two, but 47,400,000 results.

So, in the spirit of this shameless, hit-getting experiment, here is a video of Paris Hilton spinning:

[google -4825822272702177710]

Jerry O’Connell: Party Liason

Now that the writer’s strike is over, does that mean we won’t have to watch cheap parodies like this one any more? I give ‘em points for poking fun at Corey Worthington (I just can’t get enough Corey), but the jokes just fall a little flat.

I blame the lack of writers.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH

Heidi Montag Launches Music Career, World Cringes

It finally happened. Heidi Montag made a music video. Now I know why she wanted to be on the The Hills! To launch her music career! It makes so much sense now. And the whole Spencer thing? To launch her music career!

Rumor has it, Spencer handled the camera-work, which explains one or two things. Something tells me they cooked up the concept together too: Heidi frolics on the beach, rolls around in the sand, then at the end.. nothing happens.

 

Can she unlaunch her music career now?

..or join the cast of Baywatch?

George W. Bush attended Fat Tuesday Bash!!!

If George W. Bush were invited to two different Facebook events, both falling today, Tuesday February 5, 2008, I’m just guessing he’d choose to attend “Fat Tuesday Bash!!!” over “Super Tuesday Partay.”

And that’s not just because Texans are stupid. I didn’t mean stupid. I meant rabidly political. Wait, not that either.

In any case, GWB is from Connecticut. The boots, cowboy hat and accent are all a front.

 

Despite being way funnier than Hillary, Obama is behind in the polls.

Maybe, just maybe, the “Yes I Can Obama Song” can help.

[myspacetv 27489654]

 

 

Despite having way better hair, Romney is in need of a boost.

Listen to Mitt try to weasel his way out of yet another question, then leave when the heat’s on in this interview with Mark Larsen. He lost Mark Larsen’s vote, and it’s definitely not funny.

 

Meanwhile, at Fat Tuesday Bash!!!

 

Superbowl Ads Come Early

Thanks to the new wave of viral internet marketing, we no longer have to wait until Super Bowl Sunday to watch the commercials.

Thanks to Justin Timberlake, you might actually want to.

Huckabee Girl

Remember Obama Girl?

There was certainly room for one more campaign-ad-music video. At least one more. I’m hoping next, they come out with a Ron Paul version, a John McCain, Mitt Romney and Hillary Clinton version.

Speaking of Hillary, what happened to the Rodham part? It had such a nice ring to it. Now it seems she’s abandoned it altogether. I might lose sleep over this.

Without further ado, here’s the Huckabee Girl video. It’s arguably funnier than the Obama Girl video that captured so many of our hearts. I’d say the girl is arguably not as hot as Obama Girl and the song is arguably not as good. But the satire is inarguably smirk-getting.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH ON SUPERDELUXE

Corey Worthington or Corey Delaney: No Matter. This Kid Puts the C(h)ool Back in High School

Corey Worthington is my new hero. He’s also my fictional kid brother’s new hero. And my fictional kid brother’s best friend’s new hero. As you can tell, me and my band of hypothetical siblings and siblings’ friends have jumped straight onto the Corey Worthington bandwagon.

I’m running out to the store tomorrow to buy a pair of Corey Worthington knock-off shades.

I’m booking a trip to Australia to make a pilgrimage to Corey’s party house.

I’m joining the facebook group that was created to help raise the $20,000 Corey was fined.

I’m going to switch my nipple ring from my right nipple to my left nipple.

I’m going to start raising money for an Aussie remake of Fast Times at Ridgemont High so that I can cast Corey in the role of Jeff Spicoli.

Watch and see why I’m making such a fuss:

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Now that you’re hooked on Corey like crack cocaine, watch this follow up piece:

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Now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for… the interview with Corey’s parents he doesn’t want you to see.

 

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: The Michael Cera Edition

Didn’t have to dig too deep for this piece of thigh-tickling hilarity.

Zach Galifianakis + Michael Cera = blow up your.funnybone

-DT