But online dating is becoming more and more acceptable and common in society. It’s just plain hard to meet people these days, let alone someone you actually like. Dating online gives you distance, comfort, security and the ability to find someone that you like for the way they flirt with you over IM. That you like for the way they slip in a here or a <3 there, or a when it matters most.

I shot Perils in Cyber Love in 2005 with a bottle of tequila and a scene by scene outline. What transpired was nothing short of brilliant.

Start with episode 1.

Everybody’s favorite ESPN personality, Chris Berman is pissed. He was pissed 7 years ago, and he’s pissed today. I’ll show you why in a second. Or I guess you could just scroll down.

It seems someone at ESPN, I’m guessing a disgruntled former employee, has leaked this video (circa 2000). And Mr. Berman is a bit peaved…

IN A RELATED STORY Chris Berman eats his own boogers.

Maybe you heard already, but there’s a video circulating that features Tom Cruise talking about Scientology, yelling about it, waxing about it, gesticulating about it, etc. At one point, he says:

“When you’re a Scientologist, and you drive by an accident, you know you have to do something about it, because you know you’re the only one who can really help… We are the way to happiness. We can bring peace and unite cultures.”

Watch it HERE

This little girl does it all. She sings, she dances, she plays the xylophone like a motherfucking riot.

She’s the closest thing my pair of weary eyes have seen to a xylophone-playin’ child prodigy…

She’s Mo Kin, the multi-talented 3 year old North Korean girl who has captured the hearts of people all over the world.

Just think: if little Asian girls are this good at playing the xylophone, just imagine how good they are in the child labor camps!

[revver 7666]

If you want the best in Online Asian Entertainment, I suppose Rob Pongi has got it.

I’ve recently discovered that posting about Paris Hilton gets me hits. Armed with this knowledge, what do you expect me to do? Not post about the uber-searchable Ms. Hilton?

That would be, not only stupid, but hopelessly near-sighted. The only thing to do in such a situation is to post about Ms. Hilton and all her misadventures. After all, no one else on the internet seems to have noticed this phenomenon. The last statement was of course, not only sarcastic, but inaccurate. When you google Paris Hilton, it returns not one, not two, but 47,400,000 results.

So, in the spirit of this shameless, hit-getting experiment, here is a video of Paris Hilton spinning:

[google -4825822272702177710]

Now that the writer’s strike is over, does that mean we won’t have to watch cheap parodies like this one any more? I give ‘em points for poking fun at Corey Worthington (I just can’t get enough Corey), but the jokes just fall a little flat.

I blame the lack of writers.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH

It finally happened. Heidi Montag made a music video. Now I know why she wanted to be on the The Hills! To launch her music career! It makes so much sense now. And the whole Spencer thing? To launch her music career!

Rumor has it, Spencer handled the camera-work, which explains one or two things. Something tells me they cooked up the concept together too: Heidi frolics on the beach, rolls around in the sand, then at the end.. nothing happens.

Can she unlaunch her music career now?

..or join the cast of Baywatch?

And that’s not just because Texans are stupid. I didn’t mean stupid. I meant rabidly political. Wait, not that either.

In any case, GWB is from Connecticut. The boots, cowboy hat and accent are all a front.

Despite being way funnier than Hillary, Obama is behind in the polls.

Maybe, just maybe, the “Yes I Can Obama Song” can help.

[myspacetv 27489654]

Despite having way better hair, Romney is in need of a boost.

Listen to Mitt try to weasel his way out of yet another question, then leave when the heat’s on in this interview with Mark Larsen. He lost Mark Larsen’s vote, and it’s definitely not funny.

Meanwhile, at Fat Tuesday Bash!!!

Thanks to the new wave of viral internet marketing, we no longer have to wait until Super Bowl Sunday to watch the commercials.

Thanks to Justin Timberlake, you might actually want to.

Remember Obama Girl?

There was certainly room for one more campaign-ad-music video. At least one more. I’m hoping next, they come out with a Ron Paul version, a John McCain, Mitt Romney and Hillary Clinton version.

Speaking of Hillary, what happened to the Rodham part? It had such a nice ring to it. Now it seems she’s abandoned it altogether. I might lose sleep over this.

Without further ado, here’s the Huckabee Girl video. It’s arguably funnier than the Obama Girl video that captured so many of our hearts. I’d say the girl is arguably not as hot as Obama Girl and the song is arguably not as good. But the satire is inarguably smirk-getting.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH ON SUPERDELUXE

Corey Worthington is my new hero. He’s also my fictional kid brother’s new hero. And my fictional kid brother’s best friend’s new hero. As you can tell, me and my band of hypothetical siblings and siblings’ friends have jumped straight onto the Corey Worthington bandwagon.

I’m running out to the store tomorrow to buy a pair of Corey Worthington knock-off shades.

I’m booking a trip to Australia to make a pilgrimage to Corey’s party house.

I’m joining the facebook group that was created to help raise the $20,000 Corey was fined.

I’m going to switch my nipple ring from my right nipple to my left nipple.

I’m going to start raising money for an Aussie remake of Fast Times at Ridgemont High so that I can cast Corey in the role of Jeff Spicoli.

Watch and see why I’m making such a fuss:

[liveleak 3fd_1200305248]

Now that you’re hooked on Corey like crack cocaine, watch this follow up piece:

[liveleak 07c_1200396053]

Now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for… the interview with Corey’s parents he doesn’t want you to see.

Didn’t have to dig too deep for this piece of thigh-tickling hilarity.

Zach Galifianakis + Michael Cera = blow up your.funnybone

-DT

The WGA strike just won’t end. And neither will the parodies. In this case, maybe that’s a good thing.

Hollywood Rumble comes from some of the same guys that brought the web series sensation, Flipper Nation. If you’ve never seen it, check out the first episode below:

-DT

CLICK HERE to be redirected to http://www.blowupyour.tvCLICK HERE

The newest Calculus sketch to make a splash on Funny or Die is “Morning After,” an awkward, Calculus-like take on the one night stand.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH

Planet Earth, the best show ever made, didn’t capture anything quite like this.

Watch this battle between a pride of lions, herd of buffalo and a couple of crocodiles thrown in for good measure.

If David Lynch doesn’t want me watching movies on my phone, then I won’t.

Yeah, it wasn’t enough for me either. Which is why I found this gem.

I’m sure Guns N’ Roses is extremely proud.

If you haven’t seen it, here’s the Indian Thriller that rocked Michael Jackson’s world:

Gotta give it up for Barack. He’s looking more like a president every day.

Barack Obama really knows the way to my heart.

Honesty. Integrity. A passable sense of humor. Holiday Greetings.

–DT

his ass got punked!

jt

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the future of entertainment is right in front of you

It’s been quite a year — though, I’ve never looked back at the end of any year and said, “This year was kinda boring. Nothing happened. It was not quite a year.” No, I believe I’ve always supported the hackneyed phrase, “It’s been quite a year,” and I will continue to support it. After all, without hackneyed phrases, where would we be?

Jeanne Carmen was 77.

Christina Aguilera was set to star in her biopic, prior to her bun in the oven.

 
A montage of Jeanne Carmen from Portland Expose

How?

But I thought..

Wow. A Disney Executive?

Meanwhile, check out Britney’s driving:

According to my sources, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story only pulled in 4.1 million dollars opening weekend. Now that’s just un-Judd Apatow-like.

Mr. Apatow’s most recent films, box office smashes like The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, and Superbad were all wildly successful and although it should be noted Apatow didn’t direct Walk Hard (he co-wrote and produced), he’s still got his “from the people who brought you Superbad, Knocked Up, and The 40 Year Old Virgin” all over it.

It should also be noted that Walk Hard is receiving good reviews. The-rock-star-biopic-parody has been previously unexplored territory (unless you count the unintentionally funny classic, Rock Star) and it would at least seem that this type of “genre” piece would sell some tickets.

So what have Apatow Productions, MTV Digital and a lil’ internet marketing company called M80 done to try and boost those box office numbers? Besides trying their damndest to find as many internet lifelines as possible: see blogs, advertisements, viral videos — they’ve also launched Everybody Loves Cox.com, a website devoted to trying to get you and me and everyone we know to see the film while it’s still playing at your local megaplex.

www.everybodylovescox.com has your AIM buddy icons. It’s got your downloadable singing bobble heads AND your holiday cards.

So I guess we’ll see what happens at the box office this weekend… I’ll be there.

While we’re at it, here’s the Walk Hard music video:

–DT